Tuesday 24 April 2012

Today


After a long day I sit here at 11:59pm to just capture a few minutes of my day for Makayla to post in the morning.

Today I have been blessed in many ways – to be there at a wonderful birth, to see a woman who had a difficult time in birth transforming into an amazing mother in front of my eyes, to the good fortune to share another pregnancy with a dear client and friend, to have news that I will have a new nanny in the middle of next week (thank goodness!).

However I have also experienced a really sad day.  I cannot work out what we do to make sure that women REALLY know that they have choices in their care.

Today I have experienced the good (above), the bad (women “finding” us well through pregnancy) and the ugly (women experiencing things no one should ever have to experience and “finding” us way down the track).

I really, really respect the choices that women make – seeing a GP, caseload midwifery care, care with us, private obstetrician, elective caesarean, water birth – but I just WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT THEY HAVE CHOICES.  The choices may be simple to make – being off the bed when they birth their baby – or complex – having a home birth in many areas in Queensland.  But we all do have the ability and the right to make choices for ourselves and our babies. 

Please take the time today to just pass the information on to a pregnant friend, relative or colleague.  They have choices.  If they don’t feel “right” in their stomach about the choice they have made, they need to get more information and make another choice. 

Liz x

Monday 23 April 2012

What's right for us.


When I became pregnant I had no idea what was involved, just that i wanted a natural birth. We had private health cover and an obstetrician lined up but something didn’t feel right. We met with My Midwives and knew their model of care was the right choice for us.

Over the pregnancy my husband and I both looked forward to the antenatal visits in their cosy office, which came to feel like a second home. Any concerns or questions we had were met with honesty, up to date information and experience allowing me to make my own decisions, and be supported in whatever decision I made. Having my own midwife allowed me to get to know her over the course of my pregnancy, and her to understand me as an anxious first time mum.   When I went into labour I felt comfortable knowing she was only a phone call away and was there to reassure me, hold my hand, support my husband and greet my little one when she entered the world.

Before I had a baby I didn’t realise how much I needed the post care support service. We don’t have family close by so having someone you trust visit you at home just took one less stress out of those first few days, plus you didn’t have to get dressed and leave the house for a baby clinic. They were available 24/7 and came over any time we needed them to make sure all 3 of us were doing okay. Plus, I couldn’t wait each day to show off the little person we’d seen grow in my belly for so long.

I can’t wait to have another baby!

Friday 20 April 2012

Inspiration

I opened one of my magazines today and found this advertisement.   What do you think it is advertising? 






?




The simple, yet effective advertisement got me thinking.......................... 

Do people spend more time deciding on the purchase of a car than they do choosing a care provider for their pregnancy, birth and postbirth care?  Tell us your thoughts.

 

Monday 16 April 2012

Two Belly Bubs

A birth story by a beautiful mum.  Thank you for sharing. M x



Last year I moved to Toowoomba with two belly bubs.  Lots of wise people told me our future would be busy and life would be hard, and that I would need as much support as I could get.  I thought this meant family, so I moved to be closer to my mum.  We have rented a house in the middle of nowhere but mum lives around the corner.  The babies' dad is not with us.
My babies were born at 36 weeks because I had pre eclampsia.  I really didn’t want to have a cesarean and I was scared, so our midwife came with us.  The babies went straight to the special care nursery and I couldn’t see them until later that night.  I think maybe if my midwife wasn’t there, it might have been longer before I could see them.  I felt terrible but all I wanted was my babies.  For days and days I had to wait for someone to let me hold them and ask to be able to feed them.  Remembering this makes me sad – most of the time I try to forget and pretend I picked the babies out of a cabbage patch.  I hope that when they are older I can tell them the real story without crying so much.  We stayed in hospital a long time, I can’t remember how long but I think two weeks.  It took a long time for the babies to put some weight on, and they had to do this so that we could go home.  Also they were worried about my blood pressure still being so high, I have always believed it has stayed high because I have stayed stressed.  It feels like trauma.  Since this time I have read lots of stories from people whose babies were born much earlier than mine, and spent much longer in special care or a NICU.  We are lucky.  I was happy to meet the babies and I love them so, but I still felt sad. 
When we finally got home it was quite scary to be on my own with two little babies.  It might be normal for being a new mum, and a single mum, I'm not sure because this is all I have known.  My mum came in at night for the first two nights but we were still on our own.    There were lots of things I didn't do - I missed my daughters first bath, I didn’t take any photos of them for about three weeks, I didn’t notice my son had eyelashes for a very long time.  I struggled to juggle them in to positions to feed or burp or cuddle them both at the same time.  We all had to sit together in the one spot because if I fed one baby and the other needed me, there was nobody to pass me the baby.  I can never remember how old they are and I often confuse who did what and when or if it even happened.  Everything was very busy and yet I still found lots of time for 'quietness' to admire their sleepy little bodies curled up together.
In the early days I am pretty sure the midwives came every day.  I also made a new friend; the lovely lady who helped me feed the babies by donating some of her breast milk to us every morning.  Because my friends are mostly living and working in Brisbane, these visitors were so important.    My house was full of beautiful babies but it was nice to be connected with the real world, otherwise days would have passed without me seeing other adults.    The first few weekends were full of people but gradually it has slowed down.  I guess relationships also change when you become a mumma, the people I thought would be there are not.  Other than a few visits I have not had much help from my family, especially since the babies were a few weeks old.  There are surprises too though, some of my older friends have been so lovely and I am also making new friends.  The friends that I am valuing most are the ones that actually help and support me, rather than just cuddling babies. 
It is really hard to do anything with twin babies and very little help.  The places we go are the doctors, the chiro and My Midwives.  We can't go to a shopping centre without help, and even then I hesitate.  There are many shops that I just can’t fit the pram through, for example, we have never been able to go inside the post office.  It is also difficult to find somewhere to feed both babies at the same time; I really need a couch to position them.  They are fed on demand and because I am always struggling with milk supply they seem to always want to feed, we have spent anywhere between 16 to 20 hours a day breastfeeding.  When getting out of the car I can’t get them both out without having to strap one to my chest, we always need a stroller but they always both want to be held.  I always want to hold them too, baby carriers have come in handy.  We have been grocery shopping about three times and I have now given up.  Trying to push a trolley, amuse one baby, breastfeed the other and buy groceries is just too hard.  We now buy everything online and I welcome the Australia Post parcel guy in to our home almost everyday.  On some days he is the only person I talk to, he is friendly and really loves the babies.   Last week we did go to the shopping centre, and we could only do it by stopping in at My Midwives first to have a feed and then walk down the street.  I also had a really lovely helper with me, together we were positive that things would get better.
You might wonder why I continue to breastfeed when it is sometimes a struggle.  Breastfeeding is important to us, I believe it is the best option for my babies' health and wellbeing.  My boobs are magic and solve a multitude of problems with very little effort; they must be like a superpower for single twin mummas.  I have done so many things to build enough milk to feed Hamilton and Daisy, and even now I am not feeding them all with my own breast milk.  I will try very hard not to give up on this because I think it also improves my wellbeing, something that is sometimes suffering.  I spent lots of time at uni learning about children’s development and parenting, but since I've become a mumma I've discovered  Attachment Parenting is the style that fits best with us.  It means that things like breastfeeding, baby wearing and co sleeping are important.  Having time away from each other is not important. Sometimes it might not look so practical with two babies and one mumma, but it works for us.
As much as the three of us are enjoying our time together, there are days and moments when we have an unwelcome visitor hang around us too.  I could call it sadness, depression or anxiety but I prefer to call it Mabel, the person who outsays her welcome way too often.  It also makes me feel as though she is separate from me and easier to get rid of.  On the days when Mabel visits, I begin and end the day with tears.  I try to keep my tears for when the babies are asleep but she is horrid and has some particularly good tactics to make me cry when the babies are awake too.   She tries hard to keep me from remembering the good moments and all my dreams for our future.  She loves to be around when I am tired, on nights where it feels like I have just finished feeding one baby when the next begins crying for food.  I have asked her to leave and I am hoping that one day she will.  Until she does, I must find ways to keep positive. 
Things like Facebook have become very important to me, I can interact with all my virtual friends whilst I am sitting on the couch feeding.  I write to my best friend every day.  I am in groups for twin single parents, twin breastfeeding, twin baby wearing, babies born in November and attachment parents in Brisbane.  I am excited to move back to Brisbane in August and share the babies with my friends.  I had forgotten about the family of friends I had built around me before I panicked and moved to be with my blood family. I am grateful for many things here, for lovely midwives and beautiful people I have met.  I am disappointed by my family though; I thought the help we planned when I was pregnant would look much, much different.
  
I must finish by saying that there are many nice things about having twins.  The first time the babies looked at each other while they were each feeding from a boob was pretty cool.  The past few weeks they seem to really notice one another, in the morning they have huge smiles for me and for each other.  When we do go out there are often people who are really helpful, like opening doors for us and picking up things I drop or leave behind.  Everybody wants to look and thinks they are cute, although mostly this gets annoying and slows us down, so I cover their stroller with a muslin so nobody can see.  Sometimes they play with each other, roll in to each other or kick each other in the head, which causes dramas but I think it’s funny.  A few times my baby girl has confused her brother's bald head with one of my breasts, and tried to breastfeed from him. Lately also they have started holding hands, that is really sweet!  
They are hard to care for but not hard to love! J


Thursday 12 April 2012

Two of the best.

They are both going to strangle me for putting this up here but I am sure there are those of you who will agree whole heartedly that these are two of the best midwives around.  Yes I probably am biased but having worked with them both for a number of years, I see the complete dedication that both Ros and Liz have for their passion - midwifery, women and birth.

I can't tell you the number of times they have changed their plans or even missed family events, after school activities, grandparent days, weddings, birthdays and school performances, not just for births but to go to the women who need them for a myriad of reasons.  Their job is a completely selfless and one I am fairly sure I could not do.  Midwifery definitely runs through their veins.


Actually being biased again, My Midwives are fortunate enough to have EIGHT of the best midwives!
  
Were you fortunate enough to have a midwife who you would consider to be one of the best?

Wednesday 11 April 2012

Important stuff .....

I have a little book by Cynthia Copeland called "Really important stuff my kids have taught me."  I like to read it every now and then to have a laugh, be inspired by the little bites of wisdom and metaphors for life.

Here are a few of my favourites.

 
Ask for sprinkles.





Sometimes you find the coolest dragonfly when you're out looking for tadpoles.



Even Superman probably tries to fly higher and faster.




If it's going to be two against one make sure you're not the one.


What important stuff have your children taught you?

 

 

Wednesday 4 April 2012

4am - really?

We had to get up early this morning. I set the alarm for a 5:00am start thinking this would be plenty of time for us to get moving and some would say a slightly respectable hour. I would say maybe for triathletes, Olympic swimmers and swanky businesses men but not me.

Anyway, my little people, who are so excited about the days adventures, had other ideas and thought 4:00am would be a more appropriately hour.

Needless to say I am currently drinking a largish coffee watching the sun rise.

This 4:00am encounter with the world has made me empathise with my sister whose 19 month old darling has taken to waking at this time. Daily. For the last three months. She is also feeding a 12 week old baby at some point during the night. How is she surviving?

How did you manage patches like this as a new parent or a parent with toddlers? Have you got any survival tips for those in similar situations?






Monday 2 April 2012

Frohe Ostern!


These gorgeous little eggs  remind me of making the "Osterbaum" in German classes at school.  The "Osterbaum" are either decorated trees or cut branches which are brought in the house and decorated with hand painted wooden eggs, hollowed our real eggs and other pretty garlands.  What a way to add a festive atmosphere to the Easter Holidays!

If you do choose to follow the link you will see some other lovely finds in the way of easter activities you can do with your children over the break that don't necessarily involve chocolate.  We would love to hear your ideas about how you celebrate in your house.

We hope you have a "Happy Easter" wherever you may be in the world!
 My Midwives x